Monday, March 08, 2004
In the flesh. Often times, I longed for Jesus' physical presence. I wished I could touch Him, talk with Him, eat with Him, walk with Him and follow Him around. I admired the disciples, because they had that personal relationship with Jesus first-hand. They had the opportunity to see Him caring for the crowd, doing miracles, performing wonders and seeing Him raised from the dead.
Yesterday, I went to see "The Passion of The Christ". It was something I have been waiting to watch since earlier last year. But as I was watching it, I couldn't bear to see the suffering. I wanted it to end. I felt like jumping in to the scene to stop all the suffering. I wanted to do something, yell, scream.. For the first time, I realize how hard it is to be one of the disciples. I don't think I could stand to watch Him at the cross.
I kept asking myself, was there no other way? Why did things had to happen that way? Why couldn't anyone help Him. Yet at the same time, I am in awe of Jesus, of who He is and what He did. I was very mad at those people who beat Him, mocked Him and condemned Him. Yet, He kept on saying "love your enemy", "forgive them for they do not know". There was not a shred of hatred in Him.
This morning, as I opened up my Bible, visual images of Christ's suffering popped into my head. The gospel has changed from words of text to tangible emotions. I am not sure how long this feeling will last. But I hope I won't have to go through that disturbing and uncomfortable experience again.. at least not in the near future.
Yesterday, I went to see "The Passion of The Christ". It was something I have been waiting to watch since earlier last year. But as I was watching it, I couldn't bear to see the suffering. I wanted it to end. I felt like jumping in to the scene to stop all the suffering. I wanted to do something, yell, scream.. For the first time, I realize how hard it is to be one of the disciples. I don't think I could stand to watch Him at the cross.
I kept asking myself, was there no other way? Why did things had to happen that way? Why couldn't anyone help Him. Yet at the same time, I am in awe of Jesus, of who He is and what He did. I was very mad at those people who beat Him, mocked Him and condemned Him. Yet, He kept on saying "love your enemy", "forgive them for they do not know". There was not a shred of hatred in Him.
This morning, as I opened up my Bible, visual images of Christ's suffering popped into my head. The gospel has changed from words of text to tangible emotions. I am not sure how long this feeling will last. But I hope I won't have to go through that disturbing and uncomfortable experience again.. at least not in the near future.
